Magic is Might!
by emeralddusk
Summary: The Russos travel around the world to escape the government.


Wizards of Waverly Place

Magic is Might!

_It was an ordinary day in New York City, and the Russos were going about their day as usual until Jerry walked into the house with the mail. Little did any of the Russos know that today would change their lives, forever! Only this time, I mean it!_

It was early in the morning, about 10 a.m, and Justin was sitting on the couch in the loft when Theresa walked in with the mail. "Ha, we got a letter from your Aunt Martha, it's a Christmas card. How nice of her to remember us in her busy schedule." Said Theresa.

"Ha, maybe she'll put us in her will when she gets old." Suggested Jerry.

"Maybe, if we send her a letter once in a while." Said Theresa.

"Never mind." Said Jerry as he sat back on the couch.

"Look at this card, I saw one just like it a Good Will." Said Justin.

"What is this, the entire front of the card is covered in stamps. There's like, sixteen different stamps on the front." Said Jerry as he looked at the card.

"Ha, with the stamps you're all set to mail back her other presents, and this card." Suggested Justin.

"Ya, I guess you're right." Said Jerry as he drank his coffee and spat it out. "Uh, oh, this coffee tastes aweful, uh."

"Well you made it." Said Theresa.

"That explains it." Stated Jerry as he wiped his mouth.

"Mom, dad, there's some strange men in the, oh it's just Justin." Said Alex as she walked down stairs.

"Shut up, and look at this card that Aunt, Aunt, sent us for Christmas." Said Justin as he threw the card at Alex.

"Oh, paper cut on my face, you son of a bitch!" Yelled Alex as she jumped over the back of the couch and grabbed Justin's throat and wrestled him on to the floor.

"Ha, don't hurt the floor, we just got a new carpet." Said Jerry as he drank more coffee. "Bla."

"Dad make coffee again?" Asked Alex as she got up from the floor.

"Ha, why is everybody so frustrated?" Asked Max as he walked down the stairs.

"Ha, I'm not the one who made coffee and sent us a Christmas card!" Yelled Theresa. "Why am I getting defensive? What business is it of yours!" Yelled Theresa as the whole family stared at her. "So who's hungry?"

"Oh me, heat me up some saltines." Said Jerry.

"No." Said Theresa as she sipped some coffee. "Oh, this is horrible, Starbucks, ya." Said Theresa as she poured it into the sink. The drain then made a loud gurgling noise.

"Ha, look at those criminals on T.V!" Yelled Justin as he pointed at the T.V.

"Ya, they look just like us!" Yelled Theresa. "Turn it up." Justin turned up the T.V but there was just a quiet static over the talking reporter.

"Ya, isn't that weird." Said Jerry. "Ha, what if the police find us and mistake us for the criminals?"

"Jerry, the police are a central agency of the U.S government that are entrusted to uphold the law, there's no way they could make a mistake like tha..." Started Theresa as flashing lights shined in from the window and sirens went off. "Ah! What do we do!" Yelled Theresa.

"I don't know!" Yelled Jerry as he shoved Justin over the couch and ran into the wall and fell on the floor. The Starbucks coffe then poured near his face. "Ah!" He then jumped up.

"Alright, stay calm!" Yelled Justin.

"You can't tell us what to do!" Yelled Alex as she smashed a chair on his back.

"Oh!" Yelled Justin as he fell on the floor.

"We have to move!" Yelled Theresa as she picked up her ipad and started to move. "Uh, uh, heavy!" She said as she stopped. "...Any other ideas?"

"We're gonna die!" Yelled Max.

"No we're not! Grab on to me!" Yelled Justin.

"Not likely." Said Alex as she sat on the couch and ate chips.

"Come on, hold on." Said Justin as he did the Cadaverate spell and the family vanished just like on Harry Potter. They then appeared on the street. "Ah I forgot, you can only Cadaverate 100 feet." Said Justin.

"What's the problem with that? Between us there's only, uh, ten feet." Said Max.

"Are you some kind of idiot?" Demanded Justin.

"Some kind." Said Max.

"Where do we hide?" Asked Alex.

"Some place nobody'll ever think to find us!" Yelled Theresa.

The Russos were then in a restaurant with all white walls and white tables. "I don't like it here, I want to leave." Said Jerry as he started to get up.

"No, where are we going to go?" Asked Theresa.

"I don't know, any place but here would be a good idea." Said Justin.

"Why would you choose here?" Asked Alex. "Why not any other restaurant in New York?"

"I don't know!" Yelled Theresa as she slammed her fist on the table and grabbed her face.

"Can I take yer order?" Asked the waitress who had pink lipstick and was smoking.

"Ya, can I have some saltines?" Asked Jerry.

"No." Said the waitress as she threw their bill on the table.

Jerry opened his wallet. "Uh oh."

"Well, where do we, ha, who are those..." Started Alex as the men she was asking about pulled out guns and started to shoot at them. The Russos got under the table and shot magic at them.

"Ha da va!" Yelled Justin as he shot a spell at the men and hit one of them in the eye.

"Ah!" Yelled the man as he fell on the floor.

"Kadavra!" Yelled Alex as she shot a black spell at them.

"Ah!" Yelled the man as it hit his chest and he fell dead on the floor.

"A clean kill." Said Theresa as she took a knife and cut into one of the men's chests.

"We have to leave or more will come!" Yelled Jerry as he took the penny tray and put them in his pocket.

"Yer right! Ha da va!" Yelled Max as a spell hit Theresa in the face.

"Ah! Ah! Son of a bitch! Ah! Oh!" Said Theresa as she sat down.

"Don't bother standing up, cus yer gonna sit down when you find out where we're going." Said Justin as he did a spell and the Russos vanished. They then appeared in an old wooden house. It was dark inside. "Here we are. I don't know who's house it is, but my guess is, neither will the police." Stated Justin.

The dust on the floor then formed an old man with a beard and it charged at the Russos. "Ah!" Yelled the Russos as it desintigrated near them. "I don't like it here!" Yelled Theresa.

"Ha, don't worry, no matter where we go, we are going to make it out of this alive!" Yelled Justin. "We may have had bad luck before, but this time, fate won't catch us!" Yelled Justin as he punched the wall and a chandelier fell right in front of Jerry and Theresa.

"Ah!" Yelled the two.

"Justin, what do we do now, the cops'll be here any minute!" Yelled Alex.

"Not if we stop the yelling!" Yelled Max.

"Come on, let's see if there's any food in the kitchen." Said Justin. They were then in the kitchen. "Damn! No food, guess we'll have to eat out own fingers."

"Oh!" Yelled Theresa as she sank on to the floor and started to suck her thumb.

"Ha, somebody's in that closet!" Yelled Alex as she pointed at the shaking closet.

"Ya!" Yelled Jerry as he pulled out a large spear and threw it into the closet.

"Ah!" Screamed the voice from within.

"Hu." Said Alex as she opened it. There was an old man inside who had a long beard and was wearing mideaval clothing.

"Must have been waiting years for us to come and turn us in." Said Jerry as he pulled his spear out of the dead man. "Uh! Hu." Said Jerry as he slammed the door and it hit the man's arm.

"Justin, where do we go now?" Asked Theresa.

"To the promise land, where law knows no Russos!" Yelled Justin as he punched the closet door and the arm snapped off.

"Alright!" Yelled Max as he jumped in the air with his fist out.

"Ya!" Yelled Justin as he and the Russos ran out of the house on to the streets. The came to a red beat up pick-up truck which stopped and they threw the male driver out and they all piled in.

"Ha, stop!" Yelled the man as they drove off. "Thieves! Thieves!" Yelled the man as he pointed at the truck.

"We're going to Canada! Da da da, hu." Sang the Russos as they drove on.

At the boarder, they were stopped at an immigration booth. "Ha, got your papers?" Asked the man.

"Ra!" Yelled Jerry as he punched the man in the face and knocked him out.

Later on, the Russos were sitting in lawn chairs outside their house in the snow. They looked luxurious in their heavy jackets and sunglasses. "Those tools will never catch us now!" Yelled Justin as he put his fist in the air. "American justice idiots!"

"Ya, this is the life." Said Max as he took a chunk of ice and bit into it.

"Ya, rock it like a G6!" Sand Alex as she listened to an ipod.

"But, we can't stay in this hell hole forever, what do we do?" Asked Jerry.

"We can't go back, the Americans capture us they'll make us into total posers." Said Theresa.

"Ya mean like Paul Newman in Road to Perdition?" Asked Justin.

"Exactly." Said Theresa. "What's our next move?"

"I heard about this place in the ocean..." As he spoke a plane is seen flying to international water. "Once you're in international water there're no laws." The inside of the plane is shown, it is dark and a man stabs his wife with a knife. "Ah!" Screamed the woman.

"But, how do we live on international water?" Asked Jerry.

"On a boat, of some kind." Said Justin thinking.

"Take yer mother f***ing shirt off." Sang Alex as she walked by.

"Ha, look!" Yelled Jerry as some Eskimos threw harpoons at them. "Run!" Yelled Jerry as they ran into the house, and the harpoons busted the windows and the walls were pierced.

At the dock, they arrived at the boat and met the man at the door. "Hello, I know you." Said the man.

"Uh oh." Said Alex.

"The Aster family, welcome aboard!" Yelled the man as he took a red silk robe and placed it on Justin.

"Okay." Said Justin as the family went on.

"Come Rose, we must make haste." Said Ruth as they went on.

"Ha, we don't want to miss half off hour at the bar!" Yelled Cal as he shoved Rose on the ground.

"Ah!" Yelled Rose as she fell.

In a bar, a man was killing people with a knife and took somebody's jacket. He found the tickets inside. "Ha ha!" Laughed Jack as blood slid off of his lip.

"I'm sorry, the real Asters have already arrived." Stated the man.

"Vut! Zis in an outrage!" Yelled John Jacob Aster, an Arabic man in a ragged green jacket with a similar dressed wife and kids right by him.

"Wow, this is the life!" Yelled Jerry as he drank a cup of lemonade. "This is what dreams are made of!"

"Ha, can we film you Mr. Aster? We are an ordinary family, and we always wanted to meet you." Said a man.

"Ya, I don't mind doing some charity work on my vacation." Said Jerry as they began to film.

"Jerry, you know we're not famous?" Asked Theresa.

"Ya I know, ya see I just, ha!" Yelled Jerry as somebody walked in front of the camera. "You bitch, why the f*** don't you just take a damn boat to f*** island, so's I can shoot you're damn brains off, I'm so damn angry, ah!" Yelled Jerry as he ran at the man and attacked him with his glass.

"Ha, there are police on the ship!" Yelled Alex as men in white gloves walked at them.

"Ah!" Yelled the family as they ran off.

"Uh, ya!" Yelled Rose, Ruth, Cal and Jack as they threw furniture at each other and were screaming at each other. "Ah, you bitch! Ya!" They yelled as it went to black and white and went in slow motion.

"You bitch! F***in' bat to yer head! Ah!" Yelled Jack as he busted a chair on Rose's head.

"Ah! You f***!" Screamed Rose as she smashed a table on Jack's head. "Ah!"

In the room, the Russos were sitting very quiet. "We should be over international water soon, the police are all over the ship." Said Theresa.

"Ya, fifty percent of the people on the deck have guns and cuffs!" Yelled Alex.

"Ha, we are going to make it out of this!" Yelled Justin.

"No we're not!" Yelled Max as he cried.

"Yes, yes we will, if we remain, silent and inconspic..." Started Justin.

"Ha, a penny." Said Jerry as he picked up a penny and it fell out of his hands and it rolled away. "Woops." Said Jerry as he ran after it, opened the door and ran out it. People shot at him and in the door as he chased the penny. He didn't notice. "Woops!" Yelled Jerry as it fell off the deck and he jumped over. "Ah!"

"Run!" Yelled Theresa as they ran.

That night, all five of them were in the filthy cargo hold. "Uh, look at all the rats!" Yelled Jerry.

"I gotta throw up!" Yelled Theresa as she grabbed a bucket and it was full of rats. "Ah! This is horrible! I want out!"

"No, no matter what we face, we're going to make it, alive!" Screamed Justin.

"Ah!" Yelled Alex as the boat shook and ice poured in.

"Iceberg!" Yelled Max.

"Ah!" Yelled the family as the boxes and rats shifted and fell all over them.

"Ah!" Yelled everybody as the boat sank.

"Look!" Yelled Theresa. The family was on the front of the boat.

"We'll live!" Yelled Justin.

"Ah!" Yelled the group as the boat went straight up.

"Hold on!" Screamed Justin.

"Ah!" Yelled the family as the boat sank into the water. "Ah!" Yelled the group as they struggled to stay above water.

"Over here!" Yelled Justin as they got on a large door. "We're going to make it, here, in International Water, we'll live!" Yelled Justin.

"Ah!" Yelled men on a speed boat as they shot at them.

"No!" Yelled the family.

"Ya!" Yelled Jerry as he threw a brick at them and the boat exploded.

"Yes!" Yelled the family.

"Ha, there's a boat!" Yelled Justin.

"Ah!" Yelled Theresa as it ran her over.

"No!" Yelled Alex as she looked at her nails.

"Look out!" Yelled Justin as the boat ran over all the others in the water.

"There's no captain, the police sent it!" Yelled Max.

"Ah!" Yelled the ocean as the boat turned corners and crushed people.

"Wa!" Yelled Max and Jerry as they were crushed.

"No!" Yelled Justin as he jumped out of the way, and so did Alex, and the boat hit an iceberg and exploded.

"Ya, oh!" Yelled Alex as the debris hit her and killed her.

"Oops." Said Justin as he got on the deck of the dead boat and floated on it. "I did it, I made it!" Yelled Justin.

Theresa then climbed out of the water. "Justin, I just made it!" She yelled.

"Mom, there's a bomb on your chest!" Yelled Justin.

"Oh, I wondered where that life preserver came from, Justin, it won't come off, run, save yoursel..." Started Theresa as the bomb exploded and killed them both.

**THE END**


End file.
